90 ct

The invasion report

13th September 1959

Cologne Subdued

The invasion is on!

Your prime source for fake news and government propaganda

100% true

Government denies Knowledge

The first European invasion site in Cologne, Germany has not been able to withstand the attacks of the Furon Empire that started on Tuesday, August 20th around 1000 CEST. Over the course of 5 days, 373,000 (in words: three hundred seventy-three thousand) gullible humans willingly walked straight into the halls of gamescom and sealed their own fate. Millions more sat in front of their televisionary devices and were hypnotised as the extra-terrestrial World Domination drew one step closer!

Earth Creatures at gamescom were led into a secret area where they were exposed to the superior remake of a 15-year-old software used to make them more susceptible to the messages of their new masters. The effectiveness was undeniable following quotes of victims leaving the area:

“I can’t wait until we destroy all humans!”
– Monkey 56981

“Praise our new benevolent masters!”
– Monkey 46325

Even human corporation Google announced to spread the mind changing software across the world using their irresistible Stadia project. There were reports of humans seen with masks bearing the faces of little green, or perhaps grey, space men, though experts are unsure if this happened in an effort to hide from or to join the invasion. Five specimens were reported to walk among the humans without any interference.

Horrifying video recordings of the events unfolding were published and can still be viewed on several platforms belonging to an organisation by the name of THQ Nordic. We advise you to not, under any circumstances, watch these, as scientists are figuring out the consequences they have on the human mind!

Reports of the attack have spread across the whole globe:

IGN @ YouTube

Experts agree that the next wave of Furon ships is imminent.

Logo: THQ Nordic GmbH Logo: Black Forest Games
Logo: Destroy All Humans
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